Where are we headed?

This one might be a biggy... so get some coffee, a nice pillow, and prep yourself for a long read, one that will cover a lot of ground/topics...

For the better part of my life I have wanted to do something creative... it started with art, or more specifically drawing. From drawing comic book characters, or my favourite sports stars, I loved sitting down for hours and just drawing... breaking down an image that I thought to be awesome, and trying to recreate it while adding a bit of my own touch... making it my own in a sense.

As I got older I started playing more and more video games. I loved the way that they looked, moved, and allowed the player/user to interact in a way that comics, toys, tv and movies couldn't match.

So the next step from here seems inevitable right? Start drawing video games. I did. I would start drawing characters from all sorts of games... Mortal Kombat, Sonic, Mario, you name it... I even tried drawing the players from NHLPA Hockey '93 because at the time I thought that game was so amazing I was obsessed...

When I was a teenager I started telling myself I wanted to be an artist in the games industry more than anything... even more than an NHL player... (that was likely due to the fact that I had been told by a lot of people at the time that I wouldn't make it to "the show"... and knowing my family didn't have the money to put me into higher caliber hockey, I just figured those people were right). My biggest problem with this new dream was my shortsightedness and stubbornness... I refused to do homework, even in art class... I had the "invincibility" of being young and somewhat talented... my ego was very strange back then... So while I should have been learning about art history and the theories and practices of some of the world's greatest, I was convinced I would make it on my own with my own talent and ideas... I dodged university and more or less told myself that I would make it big just because I was me and people would like what I put out there. Unfortunately, during my early 20s my creativity took a major blow... I almost completely stopped drawing for years...

Then one day, after coming home around 2am after working two 8 hour shifts at different jobs (both jobs being selling video games), I signed in to MSN and an old friend and former co-worker at one of those game selling jobs pinged me and mentioned he was working at EA as a game tester. I knew he had headed out there a while back, so it was cool to catch up with him. Over the chat I explained I was starting to realize I wasn't quite going anywhere with my jobs... I was successful at them, to the extent that I could be in a retail chain selling games at least, but I wasn't moving towards anything I wanted to call a career. And, while I was working with video games, I was a long way from doing what I hoped to do when I said I wanted to work with/in the industry for a living.

He mentioned that he might be able to pass along my resume to some of the hiring staff at EA. I immediately got a resume ready and into his hands the following day. A few weeks later, the job posting appeared on EA's website and I jumped right on it and applied again, this time "formally".

To shorten this history lesson, I got the job. I started back in May of 2005 and have been working in the industry in various positions in the QA department at a couple companies since.

Like several people who get into the QA department of a game development studio, I was using this as my foot in the door, my launching point for something "better"... something in a creative position...

I wanted to create games... I wanted to be a producer, or what is now commonly called a "game director"... the creative lead on a project or brand. The person that holds the vision of what that game will be when it lands in the hands of the gamer.

Let's take a short time out now to step back a few years...

I remember being about 17 years old... a couple games were set to come out. One of those was "The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time" for N64, the other "Metal Gear Solid" for the PS1. I owned both consoles at the time... but I was definitely still a Nintendo fan at the time... not to the point of fanboyism, but I definitely gave my N64 more attention than I did the PS1.

I started playing both around the same time... but I found myself getting very involved with Metal Gear Solid. I stayed up until 5am one night playing the game, then beat it the following night around just after midnight and immediately yelled at my brother to come see the ending with me (he wasn't really big into games at the time so I wasn't spoiling anything for him). The game was awesome! It found a way to blend fantasy, sci-fi, and tidbits of reality into an over the top story, that I would have a hard time believing today (mainly because of the crazy boss names/characters), but a story that I couldn't pull myself away from. When I think back to the game, I remember watching in awe of some of the cutscenes... these were mostly the ones when Snake first finds Otacon (Hal Emmerich) in the locker in the lab.



Otacon begins to explain to Snake what has been going on in the lab, and the cutscenes start rolling (yes they are lengthy, but they were so damned good I didn't care... in fact I rushed certain areas of gameplay to get to the next cutscene) explaining studies being done in the fields of genetics around the world, nuclear arms races and the history between certain nations, the cold war, Water Gate, etc. I was a decent student at that time... I was doing pretty good in history/social studies, but I found the way my teachers were delivering the info/material to be incredibly boring... it wasn't stimulating me at all. Very rare were the moments where I said, "I want to go home and learn more about that". But this game was doing just that. It had opened my eyes to certain issues around the world that I was more or less completely oblivious to. Yes, I am aware that these issues were presented in a fictional setting, but the seed was planted in my mind... the issue existed in the real world as well, and now I was curious. I was finally starting to get the appeal of the Tom Clancy movies my dad was always watching, but I found to be boring as a kid. They work off the same premise, use real world issues or conflicts to start a fictional tale. Using the real world places, references, etc, that the brain can make a connection to is a perfect way to get the audience into that "willing suspense of disbelief".

After finishing Metal Gear Solid once, I picked up the controller again (after the cool phone call post-credits, of course) and beat the game a second time the following day (using the tuxedo :-)). After the second time I was still so immersed in the game that I chose to play through a 3rd time, even after seeing both endings. I played through the 3rd time, saw more cool fan-service type easter eggs and loved the game just as much as the first time I played it.

So, now what? Well, I picked up the N64 controller and started to play Ocarina of Time of course! Except, then I put it down... the game couldn't capture me... at least not the way the previous Zelda games had. At first I thought it was because this new Zelda game wasn't quite as good as the others... after all, "A Link to the Past" is a tough act to follow. Then I wondered if my nostalgia for those older titles was making me think they were better than they were, but I went back to them and loved them for what they were... It was then that it hit me...

I now had a greater expectation for what games could and should be for me, for any fan/gamer, and for the industry.

Before Metal Gear Solid, I had wanted games where I could just run and jump and kill enemies and feel powerful. If the game had those basic elements and they were polished up, I was content with my purchase. But after MGS, I was looking for something more. I wanted a game that made me think about things differently. I wanted games that opened my eyes to issues I was previously unaware of. I wanted games to pass on knowledge or a message about the world around me. And unfortunately Zelda wasn't that game.

Now I know what you're thinking... "you never finished Zelda: Ocarina of Time"???? I did. but it happened nearly a year later... after I realized there weren't any other games out there that would do the same things that I loved about MGS so much, I returned to my other games and played them. I loved Ocarina, but for different reasons. It's gameplay was fun and I enjoyed the puzzles again, even if they were more or less just 3D versions of similar puzzles in the old titles... and maybe that's why I did enjoy them.

I understand that not everyone is looking for what I am looking for in a game... but I figure if I am looking for these things, and I am a pretty average guy, wouldn't that mean there is a sizeable audience that is looking for something similar? Maybe, maybe not. I am also aware that several gamers out there play games as a form of escapism. They come home from school, work, family, whatever life throws at them on a daily basis, and they want to escape their reality and dive into the role of a hero character, or possibly a villain character. They probably don't want to be playing a game with a bleak, financial crisis, or wars in countries where they may have friends or family members fighting. It's a form of therapy for some. That being said, I know of people in those exact situations I mentioned above for not wanting a game to touch on those subjects that would love to have a game that touches on those issues because they can use their game character to make a difference, or do something they maybe can't in this life for various reasons.

So, this brings me to my 2 big issues now...

1) Ever since MGS, I have wanted to be able to make games that have those messages, or bring awareness to issues that many may not be aware of. I don't want to make games that preach my beliefs or push my agendas, but rather bring awareness to issues that affect everyone. And that's it. Awareness. From there it's up to the gamer playing the game to make that decision to pursue it further, tell their friend, form an opinion of their own, or completely dismiss it as something that was entertaining or not.

I believe this is one of the things that is holding the gaming industry back from reaching that benchmark/milestone of being considered seriously as "art" by most... the fact that most people that are not playing the games look at them and say "that's just senseless violence" or "what do I take away from this?". When you look at other art forms, for the most part they have a section or genre that is dedicated to awareness or messages. In photography, it could be a collection of photos on a particular topic, person, cause, etc. In painting or sculture, the same can be said. In film, it's usually in the form of documentaries, but also in fictional stories.

One example I like to use for film, that had a great impact on me when I was younger was the movie, "Philadelphia". When I first saw the movie, I was probably about 11 years old or so. I had never heard of AIDS or homosexuality, aside from completely inaccurate and inappropriate comments in the school yard. I had no context for their actual meaning or what they actually were until I saw this film. At the time, these 2 topics would have been considered taboo by many. After seeing the film, I suddenly found myself feeling incredibly satisfied. Not only was it a phenomenal story, and movie, but I walked away from the movie with a better understanding of the world and the people around me. It was a story that taught me, regardless of what our personal choices are in life, or our beliefs, or who we associate with, or if we are sick or healthy... we are all humans. We need to help each other. We need to look after each other. Whenever we discriminate for any reason, we are hurting everyone. The race takes a step backwards.



I have seen this movie countless time since that first time. Each time, I grow more fond of it. I see more subtleties in the actor's portrayals of the characters, I see more of the human story each time, and I love it for that reason.

I also love the movie Syriana, for similar but different reasons. The movie does a fantastic job of showing several characters lives and how they go about them, in their own little worlds, and then shows how it all comes together at the end. How all of their stories intertwine and affect each other's even though they were completely oblivious to each other's existence. It's one of those stories and movies that really shows the bigger picture.



Now, of course there are hundreds of movies that do this. I am always looking to find more (send me your suggestions :-)). And I know there are a few games that have some underlying tones... but I really want to see games make these kinds of leaps. I believe it's necessary for the industry to reach that next level of storytelling and audience immersion.

So, while there are great games out there, many of which have some underlying tones and themes that some people get... games like Metal Gear Solid, Ico, Shadow of the Colossus, BioShock, and Mass Effect... I would like to see not only more of these types of games, but I would like to see them tackle bigger issues. Recently, Far Cry 2 brought up the topic of Malaria, a serious issue in parts of Africa. After having only played a small amount of Far Cry 2... I don't think it's doing what I was hoping for... instead of calling attention to the disease, it seems like it's merely using Malaria as a naming convention for it's in-game health system. (I could be wrong on this so feel free to call me out if I am)



2) Well, you had to know there was a reason for all of this right?

I've mentioned above that I believe that for someone like myself, a 27 (nearly 28) year old, male gamer, I need more substance to my gaming stories and themes going forward. Part of that is due to a maturing taste in content. Also as mentioned above, this applies to movies as well for me... not just games. But, there had to be something more personal for all of this right???

BINGO.

And here's where things get a little rougher...

During my senior year in high-school, just before christmas, my mom came to my brother and I with some very bad news. My aunt, my mom's sister who was also my brother's godmother, was diagnosed with terminal cancer. Up to that point I knew almost nothing about cancer. I had heard of people that had it, including my favourite hockey player, Mario Lemieux, but otherwise was pretty oblivious to what it actually was and what it did. We were told my aunt only had 3-6 months left to live. It was incredibly tough on the family when she passed. When she had passed, I had actually learned a bit more about the illness, but still felt confused and had no idea how to deal with what had happened.

Actually, one year earlier, I saw one of my best friends lose his cousin, who had gone to school with us for years, to cancer.

About two and a half years ago, in the spring of 2006, I was working away as usual at EA. As I was filling out some spreadsheets, I saw the 'email received' notifier from MSN/Hotmail appear in the lower corner of my screen. I saw that it was from a friend that I hadn't spoken to in a while... my heart sunk and I felt lightheaded almost immediately. I was positive that I knew what happened before I even opened Hotmail. I opened my browser to Hotmail and saw the title of the email. One of my best friends since I was a kid had just passed away from cancer. This is still to this day one of the toughest things I have had to deal with or talk about. I had known for a while that he had cancer, and was upset that I was unable to see him during most of his battle. He was living in Ontario when I learned he was diagnosed. I remember when I was getting ready to leave Winnipeg to move to Vancouver to start work at EA, he was able to make it out to my going away party. I hadn't seem him in a while. I was beyond happy to see him even if it was just for a few minutes. He was telling me at the bar that he was feeling pretty tired and weak still. The doctor's had to remove part of his quadriceps muscle to remove the cancer from his body. It was really tough seeing him using the cane. but I was ecstatic to see him doing better at the time. When I got home about 6 months later to visit for christmas, my dad apparently told me at that time that the cancer had come back and it didn't look good. When I got the email of Chris passing, I felt like I had been blindsided, but my dad insisted he had told me... I didn't believe him... how could I have forgotten hearing news that my best friend had terminal cancer?? When I think back to that time now, I actually do recall the conversation with my dad in my parent's living room, looking out to the driveway... I can actually picture everything, crystal clear now... It was one of those moments you usually only hear about in movies or tv, where the character completely blocks something from their memory because they don't know how to cope with it, or it's too painful to think of...

I apologize, I didn't intend for this to get too emo... but there is a reason for all of this.

I have set out on a mission over the past year to bring awareness to certain issues I am concerned about in the world, that I feel more people need to be aware of... via video games. I want to present these ideas in a format that the largest possible audience can jump in and GET. And from my experience, you find the medium that people relate to, and you adapt your training to that so that it sticks. Given the way the 18-34 demographic keeps itself busy these days, I feel that video games might be the best approach.

I believe that by having these issues brought to the forefront in games, whether it's directly calling out the issue, making reference to it enough that people make the connection, using metaphors to demonstrate the issue or the struggle, etc... games can be a new way to bring these issues to the masses. It doesn't have to be so invasive that it detracts from the ultimate goal of these products... entertaining the audience, but what if you learned that your favourite game was actually a metaphor for what a human body goes through when fighting off a condition or disease? What if the game you love was actually teaching you something about the issues that are plaguing our planet? Maybe it's something like you are a modern day Robin Hood who is trying to fix the world hunger crisis? What if game developers found a way to take proven gameplay and place it around a story that actually mattered beyond kill the alien invaders?

I would LOVE to see a developer make that leap. Even going to the point of building a codex or reference chart that the player could see after they finish their gaming session, like a score card. Imagine playing a game like Halo, and after you have killed an enemy, a little icon appears in the corner of the screen to notify you that you have unlocked something new in your vault. After you finish playing, you return to the menu screen and open the "vault" screen to see that you killed Enemy X. An image and description of Enemy X are present. By selecting the enemy from the list and clicking on them, a more detailed chart comes up and the text informs the player that the enemy is actually based off the effects of the HIV virus on the human immune system. The player still gets all the entertainment they expect from their favourite game, but is also now more aware of how one of the most deadly viruses on our planet functions. What about Metroid games mentioning something about a brain condition like a tumor or aneurysm? With some luck, this might get this player to get off the couch and start learning more about this virus and illness, or maybe they say they will start to donate money to research... maybe the developer takes that step for them and says "we'll donate $1 from each copy sold of our game towards charity Y". Some may argue that creating games or enemy behaviours based on these things that kill or impair our friends and family members is insensitive, I would say how is it any worse than having enemies based on stereotypes and other people who kill each other? At least with the ideas I mention above there is some learning involved. If someone made a game and told me "this is our interpretation of how a person's internal organs combat a disease" as the premise of a game, and I knew someone who was suffering from that disease, I would want to play the game to learn more, or maybe it's the ice breaker for me to learn more through that person. I can ask them, is it accurate? Trying to understand more about what they are going through. What I can do to help them or the cause? These are just a few examples of the ideas I am looking into and hoping someone in the industry is thinking of too.

So, with all of that said... and like I said, it was going to be a bit all of over the place, I don't want to reveal much more for now... but something has been in the works with myself and some friends and coworkers for close to a year now. I believe we have a pretty solid foundation on which we hope to keep building on going into this new year. With some luck, a lot of hard work, and maybe some good timing our group hopes to make a presentation to a select few closer to spring of 09.

That's it for now... I touched on a lot of subjects in this post, some of which I have spoken to various people about in the past, others not so much. Either way, I am hoping that anyone who reads this post chimes in with their comments and thoughts on where we, as an industry, are headed...

over n oot,

b